“Solitude is independence”. — Hermann Hesse
I don’t remember the last time when I was alone spending time with “myself”..here myself means, me without any electronics!! I thought of specifying this coz we are more around gadgets now a days rather than people!!
Okay coming towards you..i know even you don’t remember any such intimate moments with yourself. We are so neck-deep into our busy schedules of work, gym, household chores and when we feel an urge to unwind, we turn on to our best friend..”social media”..yeah it’s so addictive and a trivial stress buster…yes I do agree with it!! We can’t get enough of the news-feeds and sometimes we couldn’t survive reaching out to it for some manipulative entertainment.
When I was in a restaurant last weekend with my friend who was accompanied by one of his college acquaintance and we were sitting together having coffee. So, that guy and me were total strangers to each other. When those two were chatting about their college life, career, relations & a beautiful girl in their class every guy picked on, I was busy surfing my Instagram feed, coz i knew nothing of what they were going on and on about. And to my vigilance in that restaurant every other table where a person is sitting alone waiting for someone or couples who might had enough of talk were absorbed into their respective cell phones. And this thought swallowed my mind that we can’t even withstand few minutes alone with ourselves.
That was the time when I realized that i really need to work on being with myself, enjoying my own company, in other words, attaining “Solitude”, not like Jesus or Buddha, but at least in a way that when no one is accompanying me not even my cell phone, I can accompany myself.
“Apply yourself to solitude, one who is given to solitude knows things as they really are” – Buddha
Many of you don’t have the slightest idea of what exactly solitude mean and why is it so necessary to adhere to it, there is a thin line between solitude & loneliness. Don’t misunderstand both of them. Being lonely is by chance and solitude is by choice. Loneliness affects you internally causing depression, anxiety, loss of appetite, etc. it feels weird that I am dwelling in a society where locking a kid in a room alone or teacher asking a kid to sit alone in a classroom is considered as a punishment. “Being alone is a taboo”, this thought is continuously bombarded into our minds since childhood. Also, as per the society by default a person should be in a relationship or surrounded by people, and if he is alone, then he is considered impractical or an underdog.
According to Ester Buchholz, a psychology professor at New York University and author of “The Call of Solitude”: “It doesn’t matter whether we prefer an afternoon at the library or a weekend in the wilderness; any solo interlude is a valuable opportunity for renewal”.
When i practiced solitude for the first time, it revitalized and rejuvenated my mind, body & soul. Since I’m addicted to my cell phone, checking feeds every now & then, it was kind of difficult for me to control myself not reaching out to it and thoughts such as losing exposure to so much of crucial (entertaining i mean) stuffs going on in the outside world was popping in my empty mind. But when i focused on the good side of being unaccustomed to such addiction, then it seemed much easier. Starting with a session of 5-10 mints of solitude on regular basis will allow you to think deeply. To heal. To breathe. Being alone means that you’re comfortable in your own skin, in your intrinsic reflections and thoughts. It helps you to get to the roots of who you are and let you unplug yourself with the outer world. It’s a soul connecting therapy.
Take sometime out from your busy schedule, sit alone somewhere, a room, a lone bench in a garden, corridor of your office or college building, and think! if you are going through stress due to some stuffs going on in your life, then think how you can resolve it, its better than blabbering about it to your accompanies. Artists crave for solitude, they are at their creative best when they are alone probably early in the morning or late at night when the whole world is asleep. it’s 3 am in my clock right now!! the best time for me to pour out my thoughts.. once you are habituated to this routine, you will love to spend that “me time”, then you won’t need to figure out time from your busy schedule, for the reason that you will be addicted to connect with your soul!!
Its so easier for us today to reach out any person within a second through whats app just to chit chat, that certainly made us impatient and narrowed our thinking capability just by getting into unnecessary conversations. Isn’t spending time with yourself a better option than this???. It expands your mind’s horizons letting you learn more and more about yourself which you probably would be surprised to know about.
“Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.”
― Honoré de Balzac
Some of you might be thinking why am I pressurizing you to to be alone. It’s not about being alone, its about finding yourself. You are lost in your daily rituals, working on your goals of being a millionaire or achieving a perfect body. Yes everyone might praise you for this but no one is gonna be there when you fail, its you and only you who is going to handle you and your thoughts. If you are person who has attained solitude, then the outer circumstances won’t affect you. what if you ain’t?? that sounds risky!!
Taking alone time has as many benefits as the detriments you achieve while being surrounded by people! improving your strategical way of thinking, increase in responsiveness, enhancing your creativity, improving relationships, allows you to bring out the best in you, helps teenagers to improvising their thinking capability which in-turn improves their grades. solitude has a whole lot of therapeutic aspects in it.
“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” – Buddha
Feeling of constant stress within you is a mere call of universe to connect to your inner-self and you probably need some alone time. so take a step to reboot yourself. Do it now, at this very moment. I bet you won’t regret it. Not even a bit. Solitude is your friend, and it’s here to stay. It would be a happier me if at least 1% of people reading this article would start practicing solitude…!
Leave a comment if you liked the motivation to solitade yourself…stay tuned for more such posts…until then love ya!!