“Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart”
Beta, what is it, are you not feeling well??, she asked me, with a concern in her voice.
I woke up with aches in my heart, visible on my face with those big swollen eyes that cried all night.
I didn’t muttered a word coz, I didn’t want to keep my mom bothering for me every now and then. Yes I am a strong girl..i convinced my self.
I am brought up in a family where I had always been taught to prioritize the soul relations you share with each and every person around you first and then the material things in the world. I was always delicate, emotive and would certainly get attached to people. Taking all these things into consideration, zyan was the love of my life, how could I not be devoted to him?..
I know I am over reacting the situation, but I and zyan had put together all the bits and pieces of our lives, how could I let it rip off all over again. This thought refused to sink in me. Is zyan feeling the same as I am?? is he upset to leave me, leave our soulful relationship of so many beautiful years just to not let go a mere opportunity?? Doesn’t he love me anymore?? Was it my fault, as I was unable to give him that much time and attention from last couple of months and he felt awful about it that he chose to live being apart from me?? Am I not his priority?? Or I was so sure that I am, and it smashed me so hard when I realized it was just a conviction. At that moment of time I wished I could read his mind, I wished I could have that super power to make him fall for me all over again, I wished I could get back the zyan who loved me to the core…. his every sentence would commence with “sweetheart” and end with “my love”. Where is he now? Do people change so easily?? My thoughts were pouring at me like rains of distress and ambiguity.
How can i be so unwise to bestow all my love to a stranger where I was unaware about his future plans, his primacies. Was it commendable to ask him though??? Does love derives along a set of questionnaire, just for self-benefit. Is it worth the love??
Making someone feel loved is the most exquisite fact in the world. And when that love fades away it turns into most disgusting feeling in the world.
Tomorrow was my big day, my excitement, enthusiasm for it was no more and I was least bothered to work for it. I realized my strength, my zeal to work hard to achieve my goals, to live my dream, everything came from zyan and now I am already feeling empty with a thought that he won’t be there with me, witness me living it. They say distance doesn’t matter if love for each other is pure and poised. But the thought of being apart itself was a miserable feeling for me.
Zyan called up asking to meet me for one last time, before leaving India.
I refused him as I didn’t wanted to see him leave, even though i wanted to meet him, hug him, kiss him, love him more than ever but didn’t had that guts to see him going away.
At that period of time when my life was messed up all over again just coz of an heart break, i was naïve and angry, I finally decided and texted him..”lets end this, I can’t be frustrated each and every second just to feel you.”
He didn’t replied…his silence was clear answer of being mutual to my decision.
I tried to focus on my work. He was about to take a flight at 8 in the morning. Did he boarded?? Did he reached?? Is he thinking about me..still ?? all these thoughts were so severe that my brain started aching…
Common meera, if he has chosen his dream over you then why can’t you??..i gathered all my strength and started focusing on my dream, those pieces which were brought together by zyan and I have to nurture it till my last breath.
Next morning I woke up checking my cell phone for zyan’s “Good morning sweetheart” text as per his every morning routine, without fail. But there was no such text. It was weird. consoling myself that he might have moved on, I got ready for my show wearing a beautiful black gown which zyan gifted me on my last birthday. That was the most elegant gift I had received from anyone.
If zyan would see me wearing it, he would have fallen for me all over again!!
Ok.. lets head towards the venue… I ordered myself breaking my thoughts of imaginary world.
As me and my team reached the venue, the view was awestruckingly beautiful. It feels immense contentment when you see so many aspiring people of your field and you instantly connect with them. It was overwhelming to see so much of creative minds at one place. The designs, the silhouettes and everything was so beautifully done. I started feeling nervous. I wish zyan was here, the source of my strength. He would be so happy to see my dream coming true.
Let me introduce a very mature and uprising designer whose designs are abstract yet entertaining. She can win your hearts with her designs like a child who sees rainbow for the first time. Miss Meera Mehra and her collection “Never ending Dreams”….announced the anchor on stage. I was backstage waiting to be on stage with the models.
My heart was thumping faster, models wearing my collection were on stage, I wish I could see the expression of the judges witnessing my designs for the very first time. That level of anxiety was so exhausting. I took a deep breath and went on stage with my smiling face and my show stopper dress. It was a feeling of pride. Everyone was applauding. I could see everyone’s eyes on me and my designs, I was the proud owner of them.. I murmured to myself with my head held high. After thanking everyone we went back stage. Wow that was ridiculously amazing!!
With all these numerous things going on around me, still zyan was awake in my sub conscious mind!
I wasn’t the winner of the show but I was the runner-up for amazing idea and designs to showcase it. I was stepping towards success.
All the panel judges appreciated my work and one of them was truly impressed it seemed. He was appreciating my work in every 2nd sentence he said.
He offered me a job… as a designer head in his company which was in Zealand!!
I couldn’t believe what just happened, what my destiny was up to, it was kind of fortune i beholded. How stupid I was to end everything with zyan, why I didn’t thought that there will be some or other way around. I was happiest to the core. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I hugged that judge and cried like a child. He was clueless what was happening. with happiness and excitement flowing through my body, I accepted the offer and could not wait to call zyan and tell him that we are gonna be together again, he would certainly be the happiest person on earth.
His cell phone was not reachable, I tried several times. May be he hasn’t reached yet. Holy Shit!!! I didn’t ask him for any other contact no. God!!! This is so frustrating.
I called him until night.. but in vain. I was blank by now, couldn’t think any other means to reach him. Blaming myself to take that stupid decision of being apart, With his picture in front of me…I slept.
Next morning, there wasn’t any signs of zyan’s text or call, this left me with uneasiness.
With that coarse feeling i left for work. I was unable to concentrate on my work. The feeling of uneasiness was growing deeper and deeper.
At around 6 in the evening my phone ranged.
Hello.., some weird unknown number flashing on my phone
Hello is this meera, a lady with foreign accent was at the other side of the phone.
Yes, may I know who is this??
I am calling from Zealand immigration authority, I got your number from a wallet of a passenger of flight no. 098, arriving from Delhi, India.
Are you talking about zyan?? What happened???… Tremor hit me.
Actually mam, flight no. 098, day before yesterday had a severe crash landing and 125 people died in the incident including pilot, no one left.
I was shivering, my cell phone fell down.
I thought it was a obnoxious dream, after few minutes when i came to terms, i reached to my cell phone the call was disconnected and checked on the internet about the incident.
“Flight 098 had a severe crash landing killing all of the flight passengers including the pilots”……
“No one knows how much i cried that day”
Hello fellas…This is the end of our story “UNTITLED” , we hope you enjoyed every bit of Meera’s roller coaster life….stay tuned for our next series..love ya!!!