“There was nothing so exciting about my high school days, it was as mediocre as an elbow in a human body. After passing my 10th grade, I realized, I didn’t had those like-minded people around me, called “Gang of Friends”, with whom I would decide to spend the most happening days of my life…i.e. “college”, like my every other batch mates did!
I took the subject, which my parents asked me to, for the reason, I was not confident enough to follow my intuition. I used to love art; the drawings, paintings, canvases and most of all, “colours”, their vibrancy would always accomplish to set that flattering impact on me. Be it the zillionth time, my eyes, at all times had that hypnotic encounter with their effervescence.
Fear is the most trivial thing on earth. Since childhood the notion of fear is been incepted in our minds. We are taught, or rather I would say, trained to fear from each and every probable object, idea and occurrence on earth, not only on earth, it can occupy galaxies as well! Let it be the terror of that bloody witch that arrives from nowhere, if a child doesn’t have food or the nightmare of exams, results, future, responsibilities, and the list goes on and on.
This was the foremost reason for my mental blockage, the hypothesis that never existed, kept me from my passion and contentment.
“Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself..” – Stephanie Melish – Sales Barista.
As the days passed the mere inception of worry led to the cultivation of orchard of anxiety in me. I wasn’t sure about my goals & my ambitions. I was attending lectures, doing assignments, giving exams for just the heck of it. From being a scholar in my high school, i was addressed as an average in college. I was turning into an aimless soul. Even though i was dejected, i never tried to get rid of this disgraceful feeling, instead i endured it wholeheartedly. At every step of opportunity, fear embraced me, saying this is not your cup of tea and i settled to it with conviction.
Afraid to speak, unsociable, reserved, not being a center of attraction, be like the crowd is, purposely getting unnoticed, conceal from people, not to entertain them or get entertained, are these the signs of being an “introvert”??? then i certainly procured a second name, which got registered only in my mind not on papers!!
while these nuisance and not so happening things, occurring in my life, i lost my track and entered into a game of “Soul-searching”
“Your soul knows, when it is time to close a chapter”
To be continued….