“..Something weird happened today…feeling of uneasiness from last couple of days was a mere sign of upcoming catastrophic event, which was approaching towards me like a thunder bolt..my insignificant imagination wasn’t aware that it would hit me so hard that I would lose the most dear and priceless gift I ever had in my life……
I came home around 10.00 at night, sat on my cosy bed with that mere feeling of melancholy spreading from my thoughts to different parts of my body. I looked outside my window it was raining so profoundly, cracking a joke to myself “haha..it’s raining inside out…” i laughed but I didn’t felt any variation of expression on my “not so” smiling face, as everyone says so.
A smile costs nothing but still people tend to keep it for themselves rather than spreading through winds of compassion. So do I, coz, its complex and tiring to please everyone with utmost benevolence and feeling of anxiety that, what if I would not gonna get it back??
Without having a word with my mom I opened my laptop and started to work on the article which was to be scheduled the night itself. I wrote it and posted. I felt I did not poured that much justice on the content, for the reason that my subconscious mind was performing its best making me realize every now and den, the emotion I had been through a couple of hours ago.
How should I convince myself to survive it?? Would it be worth convincing?? What if I survived and go through that phase again??? These questions were flying around me like bunch of mosquitoes who were eyeing for an opportunity, that was actually blood sucking!
With that burden of grief on my heart I closed my eyes!!
“Deep inside where nothing’s fine, i lost my mind…”
To be continued….